


Love Is Harder Than Crime.  1-3/3.

by punky_96, Ragelikeafire



Category: D.E.B.S. (2004), The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Genre: AU: crossover, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-20 15:52:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10665897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punky_96/pseuds/punky_96, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ragelikeafire/pseuds/Ragelikeafire
Summary: Emily struggles with her heart and her mind in order to save Miranda from the clutches of the evil Lucy Diamond.   Originally posted on LJ in 2009/10.





	Love Is Harder Than Crime.  1-3/3.

**Author's Note:**

> Prompts: (35.) Miranda/Emily. (unrequited) Emily can't understand why Miranda didn't love her like she loved Miranda. (53). Emily as a DEB (54). Lucy Diamond wants to take over Runway, Emily stops her but they fall in love 
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: Rage: Remind me again why I have helicopter lessons, a copy of Espionage for Dummies and a diamond encrusted gas mask on my credit card bill? 
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: Punk: Were you doing some online shopping that you don’t remember at 5am in a hotel room, young lady? 
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: Rage: That was one time! One time! Are you ever going to let me forget it? Hang on, could this have been for the research we did on our entry in the DWP Ficfest extravaganza? 
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: Punk: Wot entry!?! After I signed up for ficfest I don’t remember anything! I woke up later in a chat room with you and a new LJ name “sparkle_mctrashy_lovetown.” We wrote a fic together?!? 
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: Rage: Well how else would you explain the nonsense below the lj-cut? The plotless cracklayered entry screams “I am the fucked up love child of the artists formally known as The Rage and Punkmeister. Also, I can see no other explanation as to why I have “birgit_mc_dump_meister hearts sparkle_mctrashy_lovetown.” tattooed on my arse cheek!?! 
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: sparkle_mctrashy_lovetown (formerly known as punkmeister): You know after reading the nonsense I wonder just what we were on? Sparkle Love seems so contrary to the nonsense behind the cut! 
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: Birgit_mc_dump_meister (formerly known as The Rage): Well I guess all that’s left to say is. We hope you enjoy this crossover fic as much as we enjoyed writing it! Comments are like bacon… Mmmm bacon!

**Love Is Harder Than Crime**  
  
  
**Part one**  
  
  
The early New York morning was brisk as Emily trudged up from the subway and grumbled through her daily checklist: secure the perimeter, coordinate with Roy and Janet on target arrival and readiness, prepare the magazines and water for said target—regulated at precisely 72 degrees Fahrenheit.  
  
  
_‘Oh, sure. They said you’ll get to be in fashion. You love to draw.’_ Emily scrunched up her face in disgust. She had wanted to go to art school in Barcelona not spin her wheels guarding Miranda *eye roll* Priestly. _‘Top of my class! Graduated with honors! And for what? Any assignment I want, and I get lumped this holy hell.’_  
  
  
Emily checked her wrist GPS locator for Miranda’s current position and estimated her time of arrival, before continuing her rant. _‘The closest I’ve been to a sketch pad in the last two years is the blasted stationary order. And to top it off…’_ Emily held her hand up to her mouth, physically grappling with the emotions that she regularly fought to keep inside. _‘I’ve fallen head over Jimmy Choos’ in lust with Miranda.’_ Unable to keep the tears in any longer Emily double checked Miranda’s current co-ordinates and clacked to the bathroom for a private moment and some tissues.  
  
  
“Emily? Have you seen my gun?” Janet asked as she wandered into the bathroom, completely oblivious to the fact that Emily was _‘having a moment.’_ “I had it yesterday, but now I can’t seem to find it.”  
  
  
“Oh for Christ’s sake, Janet!” Emily snapped. “This is not the Girl Scouts, this is bloody espionage! Miranda is going to be here any moment! What are you doing?”  
  
  
Janet had only been on assignment for three-weeks. She was the latest in a string of incompetent undercover agents, who had been unable to adapt their years of government training to handle Miranda’s regime.  
  
  
Taking a controlling deep breath, Emily adopted her practised British scowl and turned on her sickeningly-sweet former housemate. “Miranda’s coffee in seven.” The seconds ticked by like hours as Janet just stared at her cluelessly with her puppy dog eyes. “Move!” Emily barked stamping her Manolo heel and throwing in her trademark snap-and-point to emphasize the urgency.  
  
  
“Oooh. Yes. Emily.” Janet squealed and rushed out the door as best she could in her four inch heels.  
  
  
Emily checked her GPS once more, feeling her stomach drop as she saw the approach window closing. “I love my job.” She uttered under her breath and rubbed her manicured fingertips up and down the center of her forehead, in a desperate effort to release the tension. “I love my job.” She chanted once more as the elevator dinged out.  
  
  
Miranda Priestly emerged through the doors, like a phoenix from the ashes; a true vision. Sliding her jacket from her shoulders, she stalked toward Emily.  
  
  
_‘Oh for the love of god! She is wearing THAT Bill Blass shirt.’_ Emily thought trying to remember how to breathe.  
  
  
The sunglasses were pulled from her face to reveal, dangerous sapphire eyes and as Miranda breezed towards the outer office, Emily began to salivate. _'The walking, oh, sweet baby Jesus, the walking! Those swaying hips, those heavenly calves and those heels!_  
  
  
“I love my…” Emily muttered, before realizing that she had almost said _‘boss.’_ Temporarily losing control of her mind and limbs, Emily tripped forward in her Manolos causing enough of a racket for Miranda to look back at her. The glare was long and slow, trailing over every inch of Emily’s haute couture. It had been a while since Miranda had actually seen her; Miranda had a tendency to just talk in her general direction. Today, Emily felt well and truly _‘seen.'_  
  
  
Without missing a beat Miranda turned on her heels and began to rattle off the morning tirade of demands. Emily followed closely behind like a lovesick teenager as Miranda continued on oblivious to the magnitude of her gravitational pull. Miranda was the sun and Emily—just another planet forced to orbit in her universe.  
  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
  
Typing in the password Scud rolled his eyes. _‘Blahnik? Seriously? What kind of notorious criminal mastermind has that for a password?’_  
  
  
They had recently relocated to the new Headquarters and as evil criminal lairs went this was hella-cool; only the best for Lucy Diamond, but hiding right in the middle of downtown New York under the guise of the failing newspaper offices of _The Mirror_ was too much even for him.  
  
  
He had been loyal to Lucy for all of these years but ever since her break up with Sparkle, their dynamic just hadn’t been the same. Scud had told her that she needed a break, hinting at a sunshine cruise. Instead she had decided that she needed some kind of tragic-eunuch-style retreat away from anything that resembled civilisation. The problem was she had come back even more pissed with the universe than before she left. After seeing that  Runway issue with Sparkle TrainWreck’s Cartier Diamond spread in the airport lounge, Lucy was ready to sink Australia once again.  
  
  
So far it had taken Chinese takeout, a brutal game of Battleship, and finally a promise to set up the Playstation for Singstar to get her away from destroying Australia all over again.  
  
  
The break up was three years ago, but apparently putting herself on ice in Reykjavik or Antarctica or wherever wasn’t enough. Just seeing THAT GIRL in the magazine set her off like bottled lightning. Scud knew her better than she knew herself and with this knowledge came the power to defuse her. Tentatively he confiscated her set of keys for the continent-destroyer-machine and went to get the Playstation console.  
  
  
“I’ve got it.” Lucy shouted as Scud dragged in the heavy game console and all the components of the game. He waited for the idea as he moved towards the entertainment center. _‘This can’t be good!’_ He cringed. She was obviously cycling through every emotion on the rainbow, but seriously this had to stop soon.  
  
  
“Runway.” Lucy announced.  
  
  
Plugging the cords and leads into various slots and connecting them, Scud took a few moments to absorb the word. _‘Runway. Airplanes? No. Fashion runways? No. Runway magazine?’_ “Excuse me? What?” He said as he hit power and turned incredulous eyes on her.  
  
  
“Runway.” Lucy’s eyes lit up as she watched the Sony logo wave across the screen behind him. “Ooooh. I want to go first, put in the Rock Ballads disc!”  
  
  
Hoping that Lucy was well and truly distracted from schemes for the time being he let the conversation die in favor of Singstar. He had really grown to like it when he was waiting and waiting and waiting, in a covert location. It beat bingo hands down!  
  
  
As much as he did not want Lucy to try and sink Australia again—he really and truly hoped from the bottom of his heart that he had misunderstood her.  
  
  
_‘She couldn’t possibly mean that they would take over Runway Magazine? The same Runway magazine featuring Birgit McDumpMeister in the Cartier Spread? The same magazine that was controlled by the editrix who could freeze a man’s balls with a simple look? The same magazine that his dear uncle Nigel from Rhode Island who was _‘that’_ way worked at. No. Lucy Diamond could not possibly mean that she wanted to take over  Runway Magazine. Could she?’_ Scud shook off the thoughts running rampant through his brain like a startled herd of elephants and focused on Sing Star. Lucy’s rendition of ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ was coming to an end and it was his turn to kick her ass!  
  
  
Lucy’s score popped up on the screen. Scud snatched the microphone from her hands. “Rising Star...?” He scoffed. “Watch this!” He exclaimed as he launched into his song.  
  
  
_“I hear the ticking of the clock,  
I'm lying here, the room's pitch dark,  
I wonder where you are tonight,  
No answer on the telephone,  
And the night goes by so very slow,  
Oh I hope that it won't end though,  
Alone...”_  
  
  
He poured his heart and soul into it, watching the points mount up—if for no other purpose than to drown the cacophony of sound that his thoughts had become in the last five minutes. When his superior score of Sing Star popped up on the screen, he jumped up onto the couch and nearly spiked the microphone to the floor. “I am the God of Singstar!” He proclaimed. Lucy tried to wrestle the microphone from his hands and they collapsed in a giggling, heap on the couch.  
  
  
Finally regaining some control and breathing somewhat regularly Lucy fixed her dark eyes on Scud. “Tomorrow we begin to plan. But now I challenge you to a duet battle!”  
  
  
As the intro to Starship’s ‘Nothing’s gonna stop us now’ blasted from the speakers, Scud shut his eyes and well and truly hoped that tomorrow was another day—another day in which he could work his magic and deflate her evil schemes to do things that really weren’t her style to do. Sure, she was a criminal mastermind. Sure, she employed a vast network of loyal mercenaries capable of anything. Sure, her reputation preceded her as a ruthless, cold blooded killer who had never left an opponent standing. In reality though, she was just a girl with Daddy issues and a broken heart, who wanted to kick the world in the shins. Scud hoped that she would heal soon so they could get back to stealing diamonds and art heists. _‘What could she possibly get from taking over Runway? Unless she meant to really take it over as in buy it out and oust the Dragonlady?’_ Scud shivered at the thought. Tomorrow he was really going to have to work triple time to stay ahead of Lucy’s heart and schemes.  
  
  
For now?  
  
  
He was the God of Singstar and he knew she was just asking for another ass kicking.  
  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
  
“Where is Serena? She needs new accessories for the next Birgit Sparkle shoot up here in ten. Did Patrick confirm Belize for Thursday? See what you can do about NASA rejecting our request to shoot on the moon. It’s public domain. I mean really. Does the government have a monopoly on all open space? Is it like they have a toll road in the sky? Tell Hillary and Palin that we won’t be using them for that ‘ends of the spectrum’ piece we are doing about the fashion of female politicians. I want Poehler and Fey in their SNL personas to do the shoot instead, much more attractive. That cover will sell out so fast that Irv will be eating out of my hand. Have Emily Two contact that Meyer Vampire woman to send an advanced copy of her new book. I want the supplies for the twins’ birthday event this weekend at the townhouse by lunchtime. Then send her to Calvin Klein. Oh and Emily, see that my Starbucks arrives before the next millennium. That’s all.”  
  
  
Miranda spoke more, explained more, which made life easier for Emily. It had been a subtle change in her second year that Emily had silently made note of. She figured that being the only assistant to ever have made it all the way past the year mark and choosing to stay meant Miranda must be rewarding her in some small way. In her heart of hearts she hoped that Miranda had noticed her and that this was truly some kind of preferential treatment, but when it never went farther than a short conversation here and there, she found it hard to hold on to hope. Coming to terms with the fact that Miranda just really didn’t see her, was harder than she thought it would be.  
  
  
The extra explaining only happened when Emily was alone with Miranda and only when she was giving her orders. When she switched into orders for Janet or the previous girls, then she gave her typically cryptic orders like just now when she said that Emily should send Janet to Calvin Klein for no express purpose than to see her go. If Emily could really believe it was just a cruel joke to send Janet somewhere in a tizzy, she might be able to enjoy it a little bit, but as it was she just was left feeling forlorn. Fact: Miranda was talking to her, treating her differently, but she did not see her. Miranda only had eyes for Runway.  
  
  
Emily turned out of her office and almost walked through Mr. Phipps’ hologram. “Oh, hello. Mr. P.” She greeted him distractedly.  
  
  
“Don’t call me that!” Mr. Phipps growled.  
  
  
“Mr. P was just telling me that…” Janet started.  
  
  
“Don’t call me that!” He insisted, growling again.  
  
  
“So, Mr. P was just telling me that a highly dangerous criminal is back in town.” Janet continued as she was given a defeated eye-roll by Mr. Phipps. Emily joined him in the eye roll; she could really do without Little Miss Sunshine this morning.  
  
  
“As I was saying.” Mr Phipps spoke regaining control of the briefing. “Intel has confirmed that Lucy Diamond is back in town. Her lead man, Scud, has been seen at local fashion shows and even talking to designers in town. We’re not sure what they are up to, but it is certain that Diamond is on the move.” Emily glared at Janet upon hearing her shocked gasp. “Once we receive confirmation on her plans you will be informed. Remember, safety first, D.E.B.S.”  
  
  
Mr. Phipps dematerialized just as Miranda called out from her office, “Em-ill-eee.”  
  
  
“Calvin Klein. Coffee. I’ll text you the rest. Go!” Emily ordered with a forceful whisper.  
  
  
“Wait. Didn’t you write your thesis on her?” Janet quizzed.  
  
  
Emily nodded with a grim face. She was concerned about the fashion aspect of the new information. She knew that they were there to protect and guard Miranda, but never in a million years did she expect to be guarding Miranda from the likes of Lucy Diamond.  
  
  
“Em-ill-eee.”  
  
  
“Shit!” Emily said under her breath. “Go!?!” Emily snap pointed so that Janet would get the hell out of there before the impossible list was doubled or tripled and she turned to face Miranda.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
Janet heard the buzz of her phone as it vibrated in her thigh holster. It wasn’t the most fashionable perhaps, but it was the easiest way to keep her phone on her person while having to stay in the ridiculous fashion requirements of her new assignment guarding Miranda Priestly and therefore working at Runway. Janet had only been on the job for three weeks, but now she understood why Emily was always on such a tear when she saw her. This high level of stress had nothing to do with their D.E.B. training and attached possible danger. Instead this stress she could tell was from the constant push and pull of the storm of working for Miranda.  
  
  
In the two years since End Game Janet had moved into the apartment down the hall from her former housemate and watched her change under the reign of Miranda Priestly. Janet for her part had been able to score various short term assignments that allowed her some travel and more importantly freedom and flexibility. It had taken Janet three weeks of fashion pop quizzes and bizarre errand tests before Emily would even let her apply for the position at Runway. Janet shook her head at the various thoughts about her fellow D.E.B. as she pulled out her beeping phone.  
  
  
It was a long email message:  
  
  
“Lucy Diamond is the most dangerous criminal mastermind around. She inherited the keys to her family’s crime syndicate when they were all killed in a battle with the Schaffer’s. Three years ago she disappeared. No one has ever faced her and lived to tell about it. Mr. P just emailed the update from Intel. She was photographed leaving the Blue Iguana last night with French Fashion minx Jacqueline Follet. It was unclear what her intentions and future plans were as the team couldn’t get close without compromising their cover. There were pictures all over Perez this morning. The rumors are outrageous! There are no known previous connections between Jacqueline and Lucy, but we are to be prepared for anything!”  
  
  
Janet scanned through the email on her Blackberry™ taking a mental note of all the important points but before she could reply the car pulled up at Calvin Klein. It was a total mystery why she had been sent here, but Janet was so thrilled to not have to be in the office with Miranda, that she didn’t care about her motives. It was better for everyone that Janet was the one sent out into the world that way Emily and Miranda could fight through the fashion. Plus, she enjoyed visiting CK as she always got to have a good gossip with the second assistant. Frankly, she was just thankful for conversations that contained full sentences instead of cryptic clues; some days it was like being back in her Cipher and Subterfuge class in the academy! With her smile restored, Janet happily took the proffered package and headed back to Elias Clark.  
  
  
“You didn’t answer my question. You wrote your thesis about her, right?” She typed out on the tiny keyboard.  
  
  
“Yes. I can’t believe my assignment here would ever connect to Diamond.”  
  
  
“Did Mr. P say why they think she’s back? I mean, what is she doing with Jacqueline?”  
  
  
“I have no idea. She’s into art and diamonds not French fashion mags. I do know that Miranda and Jacqueline hate each other— that can’t be a coincidence!”  
  
  
“Maybe she’s her friend or a friend of the family?”  
  
  
Emily hit speed dial two on her keypad, she had little patience at the best of times but SMS conversations with Janet were just excruciating. “Wot?” She sniped into the receiver.  
  
  
“Well, you know. Maybe Jacqueline Follet is a friend, or was a friend, to the Diamond family. Maybe Lucy just missed her friends where she was?”  
  
  
Emily rolled her eyes so hard that Janet could hear her eyes twisting up in their sockets. “Starbucks.” Emily said in her pinched Runway voice. Janet cringed at the click in her ear. ‘Well, that went well.’ She thought as she gave the driver the new directions.  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
“Why can’t I rappel down from the roof, Scud?” Lucy sighed and asked one more time as they sat in the car at the curb outside of Elias-Clark. “Seriously, if you’re going to have a helicopter on the roof… Why don’t you just let me approach from the top down?”  
  
  
Scud shook his head in disbelief and patted Lucy’s hand with his own. “Because. If I land the helicopter on the roof someone is going to notice. When someone notices then that means the police, Feds or even the D.E.B.s will notice. Miranda Priestly is a high visibility target. There won’t be enough time for you to climb down, accomplish your mission and make it back to the roof in time.”  
  
  
Lucy stared at him for many long moments. Now that they were finally here, she had a sliver of doubt. She wondered if he’d believe her that she felt sick to her stomach. His gaze did not waver from hers and with a nod she opened the car door.  
  
  
With a screech of the tires, Scud pulled away without a look back. He somehow had to get to the helicopter and make it back to Elias Clark to allow Lucy to escape with the target.  
  
  
Thankful now for her training with the sled dogs in Reykjavik, Lucy laboriously scaled the side of the Elias Clark building with her trusty suction cups. _‘Maybe I should have gone with Scud’s idea and just taken over Elias Clark?’_ Lucy thought, as she paused for breath somewhere between the 17th and 18th floors. Blowing her bangs out of her face she contemplated her options. _‘The Runway floor is only one below the Elias Clark Executive floor and if I’m going to climb this far…’_ Lucy rolled her eyes at herself and her predicament. She had no need to take over all of Elias Clark. She barely had a reason to disrupt Runway Magazine, but she wanted to punish Sparkle McTrashy in any way she could and if it would help Auntie Jacqueline out in the slightest, then that was as good a reason as any! Vaguely Lucy wondered what kind of woman could possibly make her Aunt THAT angry and sad at the same time. She hadn’t delved into their history. Clearly whatever had happened between them—it was painful and it had left Auntie Jacqui with nothing but feelings of bitterness and hatred.  
  
  
The sat-nav console vibrated violently against her utility belt to signify the arrival at her location, simultaneously sending some very pleasant shockwaves through her lady parts. Lucy smiled briefly and then shook her head in exasperation. “Get your head in the game, Luce!” She scolded aloud. Retrieving the glass-cutting-laserpen from her breast pocket Lucy began her stealthy entrance to Miranda Priestly’s office.  
  
  
Unnoticed, Lucy watched Miranda from the other side of the glass as she poured feverishly over piles of glossy photos. Lucy paused, wondering if any of those images could contain the deceitful face of Slutty McWhore. Lost in vengeful thoughts she didn’t notice that Miranda had turned in her seat and was now looking directly at her. “SHIT!” Lucy jumped.  
  
  
Taking full advantage of the _‘WHAT THE FUCK!?!’_ look on Miranda’s face and making quick work of the triple glazed glass. Lucy bounded through the window with the grace of a Russian gymnast. “Freeze!” She ordered as Miranda stood from her chair.  
  
  
“Who the hell do you think you are?” Miranda snorted as her eyes poured over Lucy’s black sparkling cat suit. “Michelle Pfeiffer?”  
  
  
Lucy smirked. “Oh, you’re feisty. This is going to be fun!” Lucy donned her diamond encrusted gas mask and pulled the pin from the metal cylinder attached to her belt tossing it across the room. Miranda’s eyes rolled back in their sockets and within seconds she fell to the floor with a thud.  
  
  
Emily and Janet both looked up from their desks as they heard the noise; then turned to face each other with suspicion.  
  
  
“What was that?” Janet mouthed towards Emily.  
  
  
Emily shrugged, as she reached under her desk for her weapon. As she released the safety Emily considered what would be waiting for them in the main office. She was really not in the mood for dying today.  
  
  
The D.E.B.S moved towards the door of the inner office in standard two by two formation. Emily felt the bitter taste in the air coat the back of her throat and instantly she flashed back to her days in basic training. All D.E.B.S agents had been trained to withstand the physiological and mental effects of incapacitating vapours such as knock out gas, but it had been a while since their last true exposure and Emily knew that they were in trouble here.  
  
  
Janet—unable to control the symptoms—slumped against the door frame; she just had time to punch the panic code into her wristwatch before she slipped into unconsciousness. Emily rolled her eyes as she looked down at Janet’s body. She had put her through a rigorous fashion boot camp, but clearly from the current state of her partner she should have put her back through a basic skills recertification. Right now, Janet was as much use to her as one of the size six mannequins in the Closet. Not that Emily was totally immune, but at least she was standing her ground.  
  
  
Despite the physical effects of the gas Emily kept her defensive stance—albeit on jelly legs. Through blurred vision she watched as the perfect derriere of an unconscious Miranda Priestly approached over the shoulder of a masked ninja-esc figure. “Freeze!” Emily shouted through her cough as she pointed her gun at the unidentified assailant.  
  
  
Lucy drew her weapon at the shaky redhead. _‘How on earth did the Feds get here so fast?’_ Puzzled Lucy. She looked at the digital clock on her wrist watch; enough time had passed for the powerful effects of the gas to dissipate so Lucy decided to remove her mask.  
  
  
“Oh my god. You are Lucy Diamond.” Emily exclaimed as the intruder revealed her face.  
  
  
“And who might you be?” Lucy teased, eyeing the redhead. “An extremely dedicated assistant?” She scanned the pistol in Emily’s hand, safety removed, one in the barrel. “No, you are something else aren’t you!?! A D.E.B?” She smirked.  
  
  
Emily’s nostrils flared with impatience, refusing to grace her assailant with an answer. Using her weapon, she motioned towards Miranda’s hoisted posterior. “Put her down and put your hands in the air. I am arresting you for interfering with government agents, assault and battery, kidnapping, and…” She searched for another crime to pin on the criminal queen. Although there was no evidence, she followed kidnapping with its most common friend. “…extortion. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be…”  
  
  
“Extortion? I haven’t even made it out of the building!”  
  
  
“Oh. Well. Extortion always goes with kidnapping. It’s like toast and jam.”  
  
  
“Jelly, you mean?” Lucy asked in confusion.  
  
  
“I mean jam.” Emily said in her most British, most pouty and most haughty voice. “And you are still under arrest for… for… whatever it is you’ve done. Because clearly… You’re a criminal.”  
  
  
Lucy tried for disarmingly cute as she saw that the redhead’s defences were already faltering. “You know, you could just let me go?”  
  
  
“That would be absolutely out of the question. Not only does it bypass about 50 regulation codes, but you have my prime directive over your shoulder and you must be crazy to think I’m going to let you walk out of here.” Emily reached out her spare hand to the wall in an effort to steady her un-cooperating size two frame.  
  
  
Lucy patted Miranda on the ass, flaunting the fact that she had the upper hand, as she contemplated her next comment. “Well, she isn’t getting any lighter! Oh come on. Haven’t you ever done anything you aren’t supposed to?” Lucy’s pleading was cut short by a ringing desk phone.  
  
  
Emily looked in the direction of the noise. Lucy took advantage of the split second distraction and escaped into the open elevator.  
  
  
“Shit!” Emily cursed as she ran on heavy legs towards the closing doors.  
  
  
As the elevator doors closed, Lucy breathed a sigh of relief. _‘How did those agents get there so fast? Who was that redhead? And was I flirting?’_ Her thoughts were interrupted as her cell phone beeped loudly.  
  
  
“What the hell, Lucy? Why can I see an arsenal of blue flashing lights approaching?” Scud screamed into the phone.  
  
  
“I’ll be there in two minutes. Start up the rotors!” Lucy commanded, shaking her head in disbelief, as the realization of her lucky escape dawned on her. Securing the retractable rope around her body and unconscious-Miranda, she pushed the lever and allowed the rope to pull them both through the exit flap on the elevator ceiling and up to the roof within seconds.

 

***

 

  
**Love is harder than crime**   --  **Part two**  
  
  
Lucy fiddled with buttons on the control panel in the lair command room as a skittish-Scud paced the floor, swigging from a bottle of Pepto Bismol.  
  
  
“I swear you are going to give me an ulcer.” Scud muttered.  
  
  
Watching her loyal sidekick pace Lucy couldn’t help smiling. An image of red hair and wild eyes flashed in her mind. “I met someone...” Lucy remarked casually.  
  
  
Scud scratched his head in confusion. “I'm not following. You kidnapped the Editor in Chief of  Runway magazine and you were chased by government agents. How did you meet someone?”  
  
  
“Okay, but you have to promise that you're not going to freak out.” Lucy pleaded as she bit her bottom lip.  
  
  
“Freak Out? Why would I freak out...?” Scud was opening and closing his mouth like a hungry carp.  
  
  
Lucy scrunched up her face, trying to be as tactful as possible with her long term buddy, “Well, ya know sometimes you...”  
  
  
“OH MY GOD! WHO IS IT?” Scud shouted in frustration.  
  
  
“What do you know about an Emily Charlton?” Lucy tried to sound as nonchalant as possible, hoping to avoid any further drama. She had been unable to get Emily out of her head since their encounter and she had searched for her identity the second they had got back to the lair.  
  
  
Scud scanned his memory, “Emily Charlton? The girl from the smuggling op in Slovakia?”  
  
  
“No.” Lucy hit a button on the console and Emily’s face projected on the giant screen in front of them.  
  
  
“Oh my god! Emily Charlton?” Scud’s hands formed into claws as he shook out his rant. “Red Hair?... Ridiculously British?... Plaid Skirt?... She's a D.E.B.!”  
  
  
“So?”  
  
  
“Okay, not only is she a D.E.B.. She's THE D.E.B.! She's the perfect score, perfect score means perfect spy!”  
  
  
“Well, their poster child doesn't know it yet, but she's into me.”  
  
  
The conversation—or self preservation society meeting, as Scud chose to think of it—was interrupted by the soft groaning of a groggy fashion mogul.  
  
  
Miranda’s head rolled around like a rag doll as she fought her way into consciousness.  
  
  
“Her majesty is awake.” Scud signalled towards Miranda.  
  
  
Miranda groaned in disappointment as the reality of the situation sank in. The handcuffs pinched and twisted her wrists. The angle she had been placed in was playing havoc with her back. The undignified spread of her thighs—where her legs had been tied to the chair—was frankly unacceptable and she knew without looking that her makeup was beyond repair from the gas-induced tears. Surveying the equipment and the set-up in the room, she knew that this wasn’t some small-time opportunist grab. She also knew she had to keep her cool if she wanted to get out with all her fingers and toes still attached.  
  
  
Lucy watched Miranda as she scanned the room; her eyes seemed to move in slow motion as she soaked in every detail before settling on Lucy and staring her down.  
  
  
Although Miranda was in fact terrified, she did not want her captures to know this and was therefore relived when her signature calm, cool voice did not betray her. “What is the meaning of this?” She snarled.  
  
  
“I am Lucy Diamond, the most feared criminal mastermind in the history of the 21st century.” Lucy announced as she strutted proudly towards Miranda. “This is my second. Scud.”  
  
  
Miranda rolled her eyes. “Thank you for that vainglorious introduction. Would you like to tell me why I am here or am I supposed to be cowering in fear right now?” The defiance oozed from her body as the acid words dripped from her tongue.  
  
  
“See…this is why I suggested the gag!” Scud muttered sardonically.  
  
  
“Scud? Not helping.” Lucy scolded as she pulled him out of earshot of Miranda. “Erm…” She paused, scratching her head. “I know why we kidnapped her but did we discuss what we were actually going to do with her once we had her?” Lucy puzzled.  
  
  
“Oh my god!” Scud rolled his eyes. “This is retarded!”  
  
  
“I’ve been kidnapped by incompetents.” Miranda pursed her lips and then for the next hour she resolutely faced the wall.  
  
  
Scud and Lucy went through the debriefing and passed out orders to their sentries to gather all the Intel after the kidnapping. The D.E.B.S. had arrived very quickly and Scud was concerned about just how much they knew. What did the D.E.B.S or the Feds already know? Just why did they have Miranda under protection? What he did know was that this would be the last time he relied on snippets from Uncle Nigel for Intel and research information.  
  
  
The dark beauty and her pale ally whispered between themselves, whilst their cronies came and went, but Miranda refused to turn no matter how curious she was about whatever nincompoop plan they had cooked up. Her previous concerns had passed, she was clearly not in any mortal danger and really if they weren’t going to kill her—they were just wasting her time.  
  
  
She was actually considering billing Ms. Diamond for the inconvenience when dinner arrived, brought in by one of Scud’s lesser scouts. Miranda’s stomach rumbled as she smelled the hot food but she adamantly refused to look interested. Scud released Miranda from her chair-prison and led her over to the table. He considered his options but decided that keeping her restrained would be safer for everyone and so he re-cuffed her to another chair. Scud made a plate for her and shoved it in front of her scowling face.  
  
  
Miranda placed her free hand in her lap refusing to eat it.  
  
  
“Miranda!” Lucy warned.  
  
  
A flesh melting eye glare was sent her way, but Lucy just laughed it off. Being part of a crime family meant that she was relatively immune to traditionally intimidating types like Miranda, “I haven’t eaten carbs since 1995. If you think I’m touching that you are sadly mistaken.”  
  
  
Lucy sighed dramatically and picked up the phone. “Mickey, our guest has special dietary needs would you bring her something that does not contain carbohydrates? Thank you.” Lucy ended the call and gave Miranda her best _‘happy now?’_ eyebrow raise  
  
  
“I don’t know what you expect to accomplish by bringing me all the way out here.” Miranda harrumphed.  
  
  
“Would you lighten up? I know there’s a shit load of questions you’re just dying to ask me.” At Miranda’s eye roll Lucy switched tactics. “Well, then why don’t you tell me what is so special about you? About  Runway?”  
  
  
Miranda huffed. Her body language shouted that if Lucy hadn’t already figured that out by now, then there really was no point. Her white forelock dangled into her eye and Miranda was forced to reach up and brush it away.  
  
  
For Lucy, in that moment, her ability to control that lock appeared symbolic. It too seemed to be signalling that Miranda was Runway and Runway was Miranda. The greatness of them both stemmed from inside the woman seated in front of her. And that woman had no intention of explaining herself to a clearly delusional cat burglar come kidnapper and her band of merry incompetents.  
  
  
Letting out a long sigh Lucy said, “Come on. Try me. I want to understand.”  
  
  
Miranda was caught off guard by the genuine curiosity in the woman’s voice and turned to regard her with a cold gaze. She remembered catching the woman at the window of her office watching her and the way in which she moved as she entered and challenged her. _‘The girl did have promise.’_ Miranda idly thought. She canted her head to the left regarding her. “You want to know about  Runway.” Miranda said it more as a statement rather than a question. “You kidnapped me to learn about Runway.” Miranda straightened her posture leaning back into the high backed chair. This was such a curious situation. “I’ll tell you about Runway.” Lucy looked relieved and glanced at Scud who nodded cautiously. “However.” They both turned to face Miranda as she continued on in a low stealthy voice. “You must explain why you kidnapped me and what you hoped to accomplish by doing so.”  
  
  
Lucy looked to Scud who shrugged his shoulders and leaned back in his own chair.  
  
  
Miranda let the silence hang between them. This was almost as good as negotiating with Irv. It made Miranda intensely happy to be able to manipulate the situation; it was clear who owned the room.  
  
  
“Clearly you want something from me or Runway. You do not seem to want money as you have not asked a ransom or asked who to contact for one and you do not seem to want to kill me, unless you are trying to bore me to death with your incessant babbling about DEBBY or whatever her name is.” Miranda rolled her eyes and let the effect of her words sink in. “So?” Miranda requested impatiently.  
  
  
“I’m Lucy Diamond the notorious criminal mastermind. This is Scud my number two.”  
  
  
“Again with the introductions…” Miranda shook her head.  
  
  
“You want to know who we are?” Lucy said frustrated. _‘God this woman is impossible.’_ She thought.  
  
  
Miranda gave her a look that clearly said, _‘Stop the idiocy and resume competent thought.’_  
  
  
Lucy shook her head and continued. “Ok. Birgit. That’s why you are here.”  
  
  
“Oh that just explains everything.” Miranda said sarcastically, glaring at her obviously simple-minded captor.  
  
  
“Lucy dated Birgit Sparkle…” Scud intervened and watched Miranda for any sign of recognition. “From the Cartier Spread last month in  Runway?” Miranda nodded but gave no other sign of understanding. “Birgit hurt Lucy deeply and one of the first things that she saw after spending three years—somewhere off the face of the earth— was that magazine with Birgit Sparkle Superstar Slut all over the cover and half the blasted pages.”  
  
  
Miranda was desperately trying to keep a straight face over the revelation that all this was about a girl. Her eyes had widened considerably and despite her efforts to remain completely poker faced she was on the verge of hysterical laughter. She almost lost her glacial control when Scud’s cell phone ring began to chant, ‘Ppppoker face…’ He slammed his finger on the button to silence it.  
  
  
Lucy jumped out of her chair startling both Miranda and Scud. “I’m Lucy Diamond! What right does she have to be in the Cartier spread?” She began pacing back and forth. “I stole diamonds for her. Gave her everything she wanted!” Lucy’s arms flailed wildly as her she became lost in her rant. “Instead of becoming my diamond she took herself to trashy town and dated behind my back.”  
  
  
Scud caught Miranda’s eye and warned her with his eyes, _‘This may not make any sense for a while. Let her ride it out!’_ Miranda nodded at him and wondered when she would get the chance to talk to him alone. He seemed like her only chance at a sane conversation.  
  
  
“My bright star...” Lucy mumbled.  
  
  
Miranda lost track as Lucy paced and prattled on. She pushed the food around on a newly delivered plate of food with a plastic spork. _‘All this high-tech nonsense and they can’t give me proper cutlery!’_ Miranda sighed and tried to focus again on Lucy’s rantings.  
  
  
“…she took trashy to a whole new level… Trainwreck McSlut...”  
  
  
“...I found a note addressed to her ‘Sparkle McLove’ and signed from ‘Rain I Desire’…”  
  
  
“…In Iceland I thought I found peace…”  
  
  
“…I go for dinner with Auntie Jacqui and the press is all over…”  
  
  
“...I can’t even plan the destruction of a corporation without being papped...”  
  
  
Every now and then Miranda and Scud would share a look. At one point Scud even mouthed, “I’m sorry” to Miranda.  
  
  
_‘JACQUI.’_ Miranda’s brain stopped her there. That one word seeped in. _‘Jacqui is short for Jacqueline.’_ The only Jacqui that Miranda knew that had been the press recently was Jacqueline Follet. Miranda ran her mind’s file system searching the photo memory bank to find the press images about her. All Miranda could remember was that the woman was younger than Jacqueline, dark haired, and slim. When she’d read it the other woman in the pictures with Jacqueline could have been anyone, but Miranda was suddenly sure that it was Lucy Diamond.  
  
  
“Your aunt is Jacqueline Follet.” Miranda stated quietly cutting through Lucy’s entire rant in five barely whispered words.  
  
  
Lucy stopped pacing and locked eyes on Miranda.  
  
  
Scud tilted his head as he looked her over. His respect for Miranda skyrocketing the more time he spent in her presence. He was almost glad they had kidnapped her.  
  
  
Motioning to Lucy and Scud before sweeping the entire lair with her free arm, Miranda offered her theory—especially since Lucy wasn’t really explaining anything. “Irv and Jacqueline are trying to take over  Runway by kidnapping me? That really is a new low. Even for them.” Miranda’s laugh was forced as she massaged between her eyebrows with her fingertips.  
  
  
“What? No! My auntie… Well, it’s true she kind of hates you, but this is my plot not hers.”  
  
  
“Are you sure? How much of this was her idea? How do you know that she isn’t using you for her own personal gain? Miranda pinned her look on the master criminal.  
  
  
“What? This was my idea not hers! Are you saying that I don’t have a plan? Are you calling me an idiot?”  
  
  
Scud jumped up from his seat, shaking his head at Miranda, silently imploring her to shut up! He rounded the table on his friend. Coming face to face with her, gripping her wrists tightly and looking her deeply in the eyes he said, “You’re clearly upset.”  
  
  
Lucy huffed at him and tried to break free. “Why is it that I can hold the whole goddamn world hostage but I can’t find ‘The One’?” The tears formed in the corner of her eyes and she swallowed the lump in her throat.  
  
  
“Because.” Scud released her wrists and cupped Lucy’s chin tenderly, looking deeply into her eyes. “Love is harder than crime!” He turned her by the shoulders and pushed her towards the open door. “Go get some fresh air and come back.”  
  
  
Once he was sure they were alone Scud turned to face Miranda, to offer her an explanation. “Usually she just wants to sink Australia.”  
  
  
Miranda glared at him. “Why am I not surprised?”  
  
  
“When she gets upset she wants to break something or blow it up. Her talent is stealing diamonds and art, but she deals with pain by breaking things. As you can tell she couldn’t care less about Runway or you for that matter. It was Jacqueline’s idea to target you specifically—cause let’s face it, that woman has got a screw lose!”  
  
  
Miranda and Scud both nodded in agreement.  
  
  
“She doesn’t care about Birgit anymore. But seeing her face all over that magazine stirred up some dangerous emotions. Her auntie Jacqui just led those emotions down a certain path. Jacqui has always been good to Lucy and her contempt and bitterness against you simply sealed the deal. She would in effect ‘sink Runway’ or at least ‘sink the person who runs it.’ But just like trying to sink Australia, the plan was not very well thought out or researched as well as I would have liked.”  
  
  
“We’re here because she was having a tantrum?” Miranda shook her head in disbelief.  
  
  
Scud just nodded. He couldn’t bring himself to say the damning words.  
  
  
“So. What now? How does this come to a resolution?”  
  
  
“You’ll be put back on your throne—eventually. We just have to see how Lucy wants to play this out.” He regarded Miranda for a delicate moment, pondering his next question.  
  
  
Miranda rolled her eyes, but before she got a chance to ask how it was likely to play out, Lucy stalked back into the room, minus the crazy eyes and wearing a different outfit.  
  
  
“I want to know why you are being guarded by D.E.B.S.” Scud asked Miranda. “And why didn’t that show up on my research about you?”  
  
  
Lucy watched Miranda’s face warily. She really didn’t seem to have any clue what they were talking about. “How long have those agents been with you?” Lucy asked expanding the question.  
  
  
“I can tell you without a doubt that I don’t have any agents WITH ME. I have no idea what you are talking about.” Miranda said slowly and in a tone that brooked no argument.  
  
  
“The fierce redhead and the candy striper that were armed advancing on your office as I incapacitated you all.” Lucy stated.  
  
  
“You just described my assistants?” Miranda puzzled.  
  
  
“Your assistants, Miranda, are D.E.B.S.” Lucy folded her arms across her chest and watched Miranda’s brow furrow in deeper confusion at her statement.  
  
  
“So what’s the deal beautiful, you being protected or penetrated?” Scud watched the disgust spread across Miranda’s face but he couldn’t tell if it was his choice of words or the implication that she was not in full control of her world that had offended her.  
  
  
“Clearly we are going round in a completely pointless circle here. I think you need to explain to me what a D.E.B. is.” Miranda looked at each of them in turn for an explanation. “Well?” She said impatiently.  
  
  
“A D.E.B...” Scud began. “...is a secret government agent. Some people think that they are innocent. Some think they are trustworthy. But these people are naïve and ignorant. By the very nature of their selection criteria a D.E.B is nothing but deadly.” Scud raised a telling eyebrow to Lucy as he accentuated the word ‘deadly.’  
  
  
Miranda rolled her eyes. “This is all very dramatic. If they are so deadly, why have I never heard of them before?”  
  
  
“Did you not catch the part where I said SECRET government agent?” Scud held his hands up and shook his head in disbelief before—a now, much calmer— Lucy took over the explanation  
  
  
“Rumor has it, that there is a secret test hidden inside the SAT for all girls; that measures their ability to lie, cheat, fight and kill.”  
  
  
Miranda snorted a laugh. “Clearly you are mistaken. My Emilys couldn’t fight their way out of a paper bag and Emily couldn’t lie to me if her life depended on it!”  
  
  
“Look.” Lucy tried reasoning with her. “I know she has played the part of your loyal assistant for the last two years. And hey, maybe she does have some real loyalty to you, but Emily Charlton? She’s the perfect score. She was and has been the poster child for the D.E.B.S. since her first day at the academy and since her graduation she has had a stellar record.”  
  
  
“Why are you telling me all of this? What do you want to know?” Miranda pleaded.  
  
  
“What we want to know is what they are doing at Runway and why they are posing as your assistants.”  
  
  
Miranda stared at Lucy with a blank look on her face.  
  
  
“So?” Scud quizzed. “Why do you think they are with you? Protection or Pen...” Miranda fired a warning shot with her eyebrow, which discouraged Scud from finishing his favourite new phrase. “...Erm, protection or infiltration?”  
  
  
“I am far from naive, but I refuse to believe that either of my Emilys would do anything but protect me. Rest assured though that before this ordeal is through I will get to the bottom of all of this.”  
  
  
****  
  
  
The next few hours in the control room were spent in deep strategy meetings, alternatively referred to, as Singstar battles. Miranda had been invited to join a team but unsurprisingly she had declined. So she remained, handcuffed to her chair and forced to endure the pain of their jovialities, whilst she flicked through a pile of magazines Scud had left her.  
  
  
Lucy had fluttered in and out of the room infrequently during the frivolities and Miranda observed her distracted captor with interest. _‘What is she up to?'_ Miranda pondered.  
  
  
Scud found Miranda intriguing. He watched her like she was one of his precious science experiments. At first she had been appalled at the suggestion that she should join in the game, seemingly bored as hell as she flicked through the old magazines. But Scud had faith because he knew that Gloria Estefan’s word was gospel. Eventually the rhythm was going to get you! First he caught her tapping her finger on her magazine to the beat of Wham. Then her foot moved in time with Frankie four-finger's version of ‘Brass in the Pocket’, by the time Key-Quick Billy was performing Blondie’s ‘Atomic’, Miranda was practically cheering and singing along.  
  
  
Scud was just about to sidle up to Miranda to try and convince her to sing a duet with him when Lucy cut the power to the entertainment system.  
  
  
“Time to go and pay Miss Charlton a visit.” Lucy announced. “How do I look?”  
  
  
“I don’t say this enough… this is RETARDED!” Scud shook his head as he followed Lucy out of the room.  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
It had been a long, painful day and Emily breathed a sigh of relief as she kicked off her Manolos and placed her gun on the coffee table, with a heavy clunk. Reaching into her pocket, she felt a sharp cold object scrap against her hand. “Ouch.” Emily exclaimed. It was a diamond. How did it get in there? Could Lucy have slipped it in without her noticing?  
  
  
“Do you like it?”  
  
  
A familiar voice spoke from across the room. On instinct Emily grabbed her gun and spun around.  
  
  
Emily heard the distinctive sound of the safety lever click on a weapon as she had spun around so she kept her aim. She could just make out the darkened figure sat in the armchair across the room. “Lucy? What are you doing here?”  
  
  
“I urrrr, I realised that we didn’t exactly get off to the best of starts the last time we met.” Lucy explained as she rose slowly from the chair and moved out of the shadows, wary that she was staring down the barrel of a gun.  
  
  
“Where’s Miranda?” Emily demanded.  
  
  
Lucy saw the fear flash in Emily’s eyes. “Don’t worry she is safe. I’m not going to hurt her.”  
  
  
“Tell me where she is then?  
  
  
“Oh come on, I just want to get to know you. I thought maybe we could go out. Get a drink?” Lucy slowly lowered her weapon and Emily tentatively followed suit.  
  
  
“Wot? Are you insane? You have kidnapped my primary objective and you are asking me on a date? You can’t be here.” Emily stressed. “I can’t go out with you!”  
  
  
“Why not?” Lucy questioned.  
  
  
“Like a zillion reasons?” Emily felt a strange pull toward this mysterious woman, she couldn’t explain it, but she refused to give into it.  
  
  
“Oh come on, it will be fun, I promise.” Lucy stepped towards Emily, leaving just inches between their bodies.  
  
  
“I said get out. I’m warning you.” Emily whispered, with a complete lack conviction in her voice. Emily swallowed to wet her suddenly dry throat and found her eyes landing on Lucy’s lips.  
  
  
Smiling Lucy took the final step to close the distance. Her eyes flickered from Emily’s eyes to her lips.  
  
  
As a defensive maneuver and because of basic protocol Emily spun around and hit the panic button on the wall. But as she turned back to face the room she found herself again inches from Lucy.  
  
  
Lucy leaned in and her lips brushed Emily’s ear as the alarm screamed around them. “I wish you hadn’t done that.” She sighed in exasperation.  
  
  
Spellbound by Lucy’s scent and the burning heat of her body, Emily turned her head and leaned in toward the full red lips. Just as they were about to touch, the door burst violently open.  
  
  
“Oh my god!” Janet exclaimed as she pointed her gun at the two women.  
  
  
Lucy and Emily pulled apart and spun to face Janet. “She almost kissed you… And you almost let her?” Janet stated, this time dropping her aim.  
  
  
Scud burst through the open door behind Janet. “Time to go!... Oh!” He paused and smiled at Janet. “Hi, I like your sweater.”  
  
  
“Oh thanks.” Janet smiled. “I have another one in teal.”  
  
  
Lucy heard the sirens in the distance. “Emily? When can I see you again?” She pressed.  
  
  
“You can’t!”  
  
  
“Come on?” Lucy urged.  
  
  
“I’m serious; we can’t see each other again. You are holding my boss. You know MY primary assignment hostage?!? Additionally I could get kicked out of the D.E.B.S for even talking to you.” Emily pleaded.  
  
  
“Emily?” Janet whined.  
  
  
“Come on, Lucy!” Scud ordered as he pulled her from the room.  
  
  
***  
  
  
The encounter had lasted only minutes, but the rigorous debriefing took hours. Emily’s mind was a swirl of emotions and now that the other agents were all gone and the quiet settled in around her, the silence was deafening! Exhaustion made her limbs heavy and the incessant questions from the agents and in her own mind made her feel like she was breathing underwater. Forgetting that she wasn’t exactly alone, Emily wrapped her arms around her body as she stared out the window into the New York night. Her view was pretty much restricted to the brick work of the neighboring building but tonight the view could have been as breathtaking as the Grand Canyon and it would still not have given her the comfort she needed to pull her out of the continuous loop of images that she saw in her mind’s eye... Lucy.  
  
  
“Are you okay?” Janet asked from behind Emily, attempting to break through the haze. There was no immediate danger but Janet would feel better if… Bitch-Emily was back. She wasn’t sure what to make of this quiet distracted—uh— _‘girl’_ standing across from her.  
  
  
“Hmmm?” Emily hummed absently. “What?” She slowly turned her gaze from the window back to Janet. Catching her look of concern Emily’s eyes spread wide. The look shocked her out of her trance-like state and she suddenly felt appalled by her lack of control post—Lucy Diamond Encounter.  
  
  
Not only had Lucy stripped down her defences, but the woman had somehow been able to jump start her libido despite her obsession with Miranda. In two years nothing had been able to break past the Miranda shaped fog in her brain. Emily felt the urge to shake out the guilty thoughts of Lucy, to put Miranda back in her rightful place. Surely something was temporarily disjointed to leave her this dazed and confused after flirting with Lucy Diamond.  
  
  
“Ummm...I need to go.” Emily pointed toward the bathroom door and Janet nodded allowing Emily to lock herself in her own bathroom.  
  
  
_‘I was flirting with Lucy Diamond!’_ Emily chanted as she gripped the edge of the sink and stared herself down in the mirror. Closing her eyes, she breathed in and out in an attempt to calm her breathing and her mind. Looking at herself once again, she approximated Miranda’s most scathing glare and adopted The Look before turning away from her reflection.  
  
  
Realizing that she hadn’t had the chance to pee all day, she thought she might as well go to the bathroom while she was actually in the bathroom, especially if Janet was listening with that concerned look still on her face outside the door to her room.  
  
  
As the cold air hit her lady parts, Emily was suddenly alerted, even further, to the physical reality of her situation. Looking at the glistening wetness on her knickers Emily choked back a shocked observation.  
  
  
“Oh. My. God.” She breathed as she dared to touch the wet spot with disbelieving fingertips.  
  
  
_‘Lucy. Diamond!’_ She thought as she rolled her eyes. Of course Miranda Priestly wasn’t unobtainable enough. In one small jump she had gone from Ice Queen to Criminal Queen with her inappropriate lustings.  
  
  
For the final damning evidence in the case of Emily’s body versus Emily’s common sense, she spread her legs and stroked two fingers up and through the folds of her pussy shuddering with readied pleasure as she slid through. Shocked and gasping from this small amount of contact Emily realized. _‘I’m wetter than a slaughterhouse floor!!!’_ After taking a few moments to clean up and refresh, Emily decided it was time to face Janet.  
  
  
Opening the door she was glad to see that her bedroom was empty and she thought that, if Janet was spying on her at least it was at the distance of the lounge. Emily shook her shoulders in an attempt to release some tension. She tried to prepare herself for the concerned puppy dog eyes of her comrade and possibly an attempted hug, however as she entered the room, Janet looked anything but concerned.  
  
  
The fact that she was now pacing the length of the coffee table making exasperated breathy noises had caught Emily quite off guard. After a few agitated moments Janet stopped and turned on Emily, very much like their old team leader Max (who had rage issues).  
  
  
“What just happened?!” Janet demanded. Emily’s jaw dropped in shock, stunned into a different kind of silence.  
  
  
“Nothing happened.” Emily muttered slumping into her armchair.  
  
  
Janet’s voice reached an uncomfortably high pitch as she let the accusations fly. “She was totally going to kiss you! You are so into her!” Janet stamped her foot as she locked eyes with Emily.  
  
  
Squirming under the intensity of Janet’s gaze, Emily lashed out defensively. “I am not!” She shouted.  
  
  
Silence fell on the room as they each contemplated the words said between them and the vehemence and suddenness with which they had been delivered. The meaning behind the shared outburst dawned simultaneously on the two women as delicately as a lead weight.  
  
  
Janet sucked in a lungful of air and softened her voice. “Emily, you violated the prime directive. Plus, hello, it’s a *girl*.” She tutted and shook her head from side to side. “You are so busted!”  
  
  
“Busted?!” Emily looked agog at Janet. “Are you kidding me, Janet?” Emily stalked toward her companion, using her towering height as an intimidation advantage. _‘The best defence is offence...Perfect score indeed... I’ll use every ounce of perfection that I have to regain control here.’_ She told herself. “If anyone violated the code it was you.” Emily threw her comment harshly at Janet.  
  
  
“What? How?”  
  
  
“D.E.B.S. will not consort with any known enemy of the state under penalty of treason.”  
  
  
“When was I consorting?” Puzzled Janet.  
  
  
“You were flirting with Scud. I saw you give him your email address!”  
  
  
“But… but… but… that’s not the same and you know it?” Janet stomped her foot again.  
  
  
“And… Remember the time you grabbed the wrong accessories for the Michael Korrs shoot? Miranda would have fired you? I covered for you. I never told anyone. If Miranda ever found out you would not be allowed back in the building never mind get to be first assistant!!!”  
  
  
Janet’s shock passed in waves but Emily barrelled on truly on a roll.  
  
  
“You may have a shoplifting conviction which got you into the academy but here in the ‘real world’ that won’t get you anywhere but the city precinct.”  
  
  
Janet gasped as Emily used air quotes to clearly mock her youthful indiscretions. She hadn’t shoplifted in years, it hadn’t hurt her future, and everyone in the D.E.B.S.—except little miss ‘Perfect Score’—had at least one skeleton in their closet.  
  
  
Janet opened and closed her mouth in quick succession as if she was trying to work out whether or not her jaw muscles still worked. In reality her mind was grappling for a clever comeback before the tears started.  
  
  
The imminent arrival of the tears and a flash in her mind of Max systematically tearing into her long-time friend caused Emily to relent her attack.  
  
  
“I… I… Emily…” Janet stumbled over her words as she finally got her guppy mouth to work.  
  
  
Emily rolled her eyes and steepled her hands in front of her mouth praying for the right words to end this evening. She desperately wanted to be alone with her thoughts.  
  
  
“Relax.” Emily released her breath and looked calmingly at Janet, willing her to follow her lead and de-escalate. “Nothing happened and nothing will happen. Just go get some sleep. We’ve had a very busy day and I’m sure tomorrow will be even harder. If we don’t re-acquire the target—and fast—our next assignment will be a million times worse!”  
  
Janet nodded weakly and made her way to the door. “We ok?” She asked timidly.  
  
  
“Sure.” Emily reassured. “Good night.”  
  
  
Emily closed the wooden barrier between her and the rest of the world; she pressed her forehead against the cold panel banging it several times, to enforce the closure. “Why can’t I have a simple life?” She sighed as she locked the door and made her way around the apartment to prepare for bed.  
  
  
Lying down on her back with a grunt Emily placed her hands primly over her stomach. She stared up at the ceiling looking up for the answers, searching in the cracks and crinkles of the tired old ceiling. _‘One almost-kiss from Lucy Diamond…’_ She thought as she closed her eyes to the image of Lucy’s sweet mouth getting closer to her own. _‘I’ve had no life beyond my cover at Runway for so long.’_ She wiped the threat of a tear out of the corner of her eye that way she would never have to admit that she had been crying. _‘Was I in love with Miranda? Am I in love with Miranda?’_ She wiped at her eye again this time drawing back slight moisture on her fingertips. _‘Was it just an inconvenient obsession to have on the most demanding boss in the world?’_ Emily rolled on to her side, bringing her knees up so that she was curled into herself. _‘Did I just focus down to Miranda because there was nothing else?’_ Emily hugged her knees tightly against her chest. _‘No Barcelona. No drawing. No Me. Do I even know who I am anymore?’_ A whimper broke loose, away from the captors of her control and Emily closed her eyes to defend herself against the sounds of her own despair and confusion. No answers were going to come tonight, nor were pleasant slumbers.  
  
  
Focusing on her breathing and the sound of the clock ticking from the hallway, she slowly she drifted into a tortured sleep. 

 

***

 

  
**Love is harder than crime**   **\--  Part three**  
  
  
Agent Emily Charlton, was ripped from the clutches of her dream by the incessant buzzing of the intercom, as it tore through her apartment. Trundling out of bed, she hit the panel in annoyance. “Wot!” Emily barked into the speaker.  
  
  
A familiar face filled up the intercom screen and for a split second Emily thought she was still dreaming. “Max?”  
  
  
“You betcha sweet ass!”  
  
  
“What are you doing here?”  
  
  
“Miss Petrie, reassigned me, said that the shit had hit the fan. Shoulda known you wouldn’t last long without me girl. You gonna let me in?”  
  
  
Emily pressed the release button for the outside door and ended the call, as she muttered obscenities to herself. She reached for her cell phone and pressed the speed dial key. She wasn’t going to endure this pain alone.  
  
  
“Janet.” She huffed into the receiver. “My apartment. Now!”  
  
  
***  
  
  
Janet cowered in the corner of the couch, tucking her fluffy bunny slippers under her body. Nursing a cup of hot sweet tea, she watched Max pace the length of the room, ranting about the code and regulations. _‘This is all we need!’_ She thought looking to Emily and her wicked bedhead for some sign of hope.  
  
  
Going through basic training and living together through to End Game; meant that Emily, Janet and Max had been through some tough times together. There had always been that bond and there always would be. However, in the last few years, Emily and Max had grown apart. She had been jetting around the world, engaged in top-level secret ops with MI6 and Interpol and Emily had spent her assignment getting coffee.  
  
  
Emily chewed her bottom lip in frustration, not only had she failed her primary objective, she now had to sit there and listen to Miss Ego tell her exactly what she had done wrong.  
  
  
“Max!” Emily shouted, stopping Max dead in her tracks. “Why are you here?”  
  
  
“I’m here, because you messed up.” Max stood with her arms folded across her chest, tapping her toe on the floor.  
  
  
Emily knew from the shit-eating grin on Max’s face, that she was just waiting for her to bite. What Max couldn’t appreciate was that her arrival and subsequent attempts to belittle Emily and Janet were just pitiful. If she’d had any idea of the type of mental torture and torment the two of them had been through on a daily basis working under Miranda, she wouldn’t have dared to challenge her. _‘In fact!’_ Emily thought. _‘She wouldn’t have dared to show her face.’_  
  
  
“Couldn’t you have turned up to help at a more sociable hour?” Janet whined into her mug.  
  
  
Max threw Janet a look of disgust before turning back to Emily.  
  
  
The intercom buzzing warned them of Mr. Phipps’ imminent arrival although it was still always something of a surprise when his hologram appeared in the middle of the room. “Good evening, D.E.B.S.” He looked around at each of the three women before him. They were obviously up, but judging from the bed hair and bunny slippers Emily and Janet had been rudely woken up by the impeccably dressed Max. “We have intel on the location of Lucy’s lair. The coordinates will download to your home system Charlton. Remember safety first, D.E.B.S..” Mr. Phipps smiled once at them very quickly and then his hologram shimmered and was gone.  
  
  
Max went to the bathroom to change. Emily rushed into her room heart racing and confused. Janet slipped back to her apartment taking deep breaths. She wasn’t sure how this was going to turn out and Max was an additional unpredictable variable that could drastically affect the outcome of this evening. Janet had always thought there was a special tension between Emily and Max, but had been unwilling to really analyze why she thought that was. Emily’s almost kiss of Lucy Diamond and the sudden appearance of Max renewed her past suspicions. She wondered what the story between them really was and how it would affect their interactions and Emily’s with Lucy. Having a few moments to wrestle with this myriad of facts, Janet came to the conclusion that she really just wanted Emily to be happy and if Lucy could do that for her, then maybe it was right. She hoped to talk to Emily about these things, but didn’t see how it would be possible with Max around.  
  
  
Suited and booted they eyed each other over the coffee table each entertaining secret thoughts best kept from the others. Emily felt simultaneously exhilarated and concerned about seeing Lucy again; it was like she was being jettisoned through a tube and she had no other options but to move forward.  
  
  
Max felt like she was back in the academy, a caged animal, hungry to best Emily in a face to face interaction and maybe finally capture her attention.  
  
  
Janet found herself, once again swimming with the sharks, wondering what the hell the fall out would be from all of this. On a side note she was becoming increasingly convinced that Max had a thing for Emily even if Emily was blissfully unaware of it. How else could Janet interpret those furtive stares? And there was no mistaking the look me up and down, fuck me, undress me, take me, once-overs that Max was giving Emily!  
  
  
“Coordinates?” Janet said to Emily.  
  
  
Holding them up, Emily reminisced to her colleagues. “Remember when we went on our first mission?”  
  
  
Janet laughed quickly at the memory of them running all over trying to get ready while Mr. Phipps was shouting at them from every screen in the house. “I couldn’t find my gun that time!” Janet’s girlish squeal was soon wiped off her face with a harsh look from Emily, the look to remind her that she couldn’t find her gun LAST WEEK.  
  
  
Janet turned to Max. “So are you driving or are we taking the subway?”  
  
  
Max looked hella-proud of herself and stuck her chest out. “I’ve got a sweet ride. Come on, D.E.B.S. let’s go!”  
  
  
Checking their weaponry, protective gear and their GPS systems one more time Janet and Emily followed Max out into the hall and on to their mission.  
  
  
*****  
  
  
Most agents did not stand outside the building they were preparing to enter by force smoking a cigarette. Then again most agents did not go through men as fast as they went through cigarettes either. However, Dominique was not your usual agent. It made Emily smile to think of all the warnings Max had given her about the boys upstairs, curfew, and laundry. It was a fond memory when their days had been filled with blissful naivety. Dominique’s short plaid skirt kept the attention of the homeland security detail agents who had been assigned on the task at hand. Emily briefly smirked as she looked Dominique up and down through the lens of  Runway. Nice legs, pouty mouth dragging on the cigarette, and body language that screamed ‘take me, fuck me, let me go’ shaking her head—Emily thought that Miranda would love her and Nigel would readily put her in animal prints and snake skin.  
  
  
The lower floors of the nondescript target building were the run-down offices of the Mirror newspaper which had fallen on hard times. Emily wondered if Lucy helped to keep them afloat so that her building would not be so empty to deflect from the fact that she was using it as her criminal lair. Looking at the grey concrete, the old fashioned doors that hadn’t been upgraded since the 1950s, and with the drab signage on the front of the building Emily thought it really was a well chosen hide out. Right in the middle of New York where the comings and goings of Lucy and her colleagues would blend in, but it wasn’t so public and busy that a lot of attention was brought there either. The business of the newspaper provided round the clock action and gave the building a purpose. It would have been rare for anyone to look past the initial business to find out what the rest of the building was keeping. ‘Perfect!’ Emily thought as she considered Lucy’s genius.  
  
  
Emily greeted Dominique and Seymour, the Head of the Homeland Security Detail, but as planning began she let Max surge forward to take a leadership role. She was in no mood for any additional drama.  
  
  
The realization of what she was about to do had finally hit home. Storm into the secret lair of a criminal mastermind—the same woman that had not only kidnapped her boss, but also stolen Emily’s heart in the process—arrest her, and rescue the aforementioned boss. It was truly a heart breaking moment. _‘How had it come to this?’_ She wondered, as the thoughts crashed over her amidst the sea of agents and bustle of preparations. How could it be when she followed all the rules, obtained the perfect score, and did everything that was expected of her only to fall for the dark princess. Emily was certain that she didn’t want to know how. In fact she was quite certain standing there outside Lucy’s building that she wanted to be in Barcelona at art school. She wondered if she really had to go in and arrest Lucy. _‘Couldn’t the other agents go in?’_ She desperately asked herself. The thought of Lucy being taken away and never seeing her face again was too much for Emily and as she wiped a rebellious tear from her eye she caught Max staring at her.  
  
  
“Too much for you, P.S.?” Max jeered.  
  
  
Emily rolled her eyes. No one had called her P.S. since the academy. Perfect score, little-miss-perfect-score’ they had said behind her back and more than once to her face. That was fine because she knew that Max was the Perfect Scare, Dominique was the Perfect Whore, and Janet was the Perfect Bore. Sucking in a dragging lungful of air Emily had to fight laughter instead of tears as the juvenile epitaphs crossed her mind.  
  
  
“Oh, God.” She rolled her eyes, “I love my job. Let’s do this.”  
  
  
The tall dark homeland security agent cut the bolt, which secured the old delivery hatch, opening it just enough for the D.E.B.S. to crawl through. Weapons cocked and drawn they advanced on the flashing heat signatures which were indicated on their wrist GPS devices.  
  
  
Much to Max’s visible annoyance, Emily led the formation forward. Guiding them through the abandoned rooms of the building, pausing at each blind corner and navigating around the various obstacles set to hinder their entrance.  
  
  
Hearing the echoing sounds of music, Emily raised her fist and pulled it down to her side, silently instructing the four-woman team to halt and crouch. She crept forward, with practised stealth in her 4inch Mary-Jane’s to investigate.  
  
  
“Oh my god, it’s from Dirty Dancing. I love that song!” Janet whispered excitedly before she remembered who she was talking to.  
  
  
“Shut up!” Max spat shaking her head in disgust.  
  
  
Peering around the blind corner Emily could see an unguarded room ahead which—according to her GPS—lead directly to the heat signatures they were tracking.  
  
  
A strange feeling rushed through her mind and body. The lyrics of the song seemed to be talking to her, although she’d heard the song a million times before she’d never actually listened to it until now.  
  
  
_‘No, I never felt like this before. Yes, I swear it's the truth and I owe it all to you...  
  
We saw the writing on the wall, as we felt this magical fantasy...  
  
Now with passion in our eyes, there's no way we could disguise it secretly...  
  
With my body and soul, I want you more than you'll ever know...  
  
So, we'll just let it go. Don't be afraid to lose control’_  
  
  
If she had asked herself the question a week ago; who had her heart? Emily would have had no problem answering, resolutely, Miranda! But now, as the words began to register, she knew that from her first meeting with Lucy. She had been having the time of her life. Unfortunately she was a D.E.B.—it was her calling. It was time to end this.  
  
  
Emily turned and signalled for the team to join her.  
  
  
“It's a trap.” Stated Max matter-of-factly.  
  
  
“Whatever.” Emily muttered rolling her eyes at Miss Condescension.  
  
  
“Hey! Look. Creepy shadows. No bad guys in sight. Confined space! Trap!”  
  
  
Emily wanted to wipe THAT look off her face so badly. “Why are to you giving me such a hard time? Do you think I can't handle it?”  
  
  
Max placed a defiant hand on her hip. “No, I KNOW you can't handle it. You wouldn't know formation kappa kappa gamma if it smacked you on the ass.” She retorted, staring Emily down.  
  
  
“We are going to die.” Janet whispered to Dominique.  
  
  
“Oui!” Agreed Dominique as she lit up another cigarette.  
  
  
Emily took a deep breath and moved into Max’s personal space. “This is my recovery operation—my primary target. I have given you the command and you, Maxine, will move your fucking arse! Do you understand?”  
  
  
Max squared up to Emily. Emily squared up to Max. Janet stood open mouthed frozen in shock. Dominique took another drag on her cigarette and rolled her eyes.  
  
  
“Oh mon dieu!” The chain-smoking French girl announced, interrupting the intense stare down. “Why don’t you just fuck her and get it over with?”  
  
  
“Wha?” Max exclaimed.  
  
  
“Wot?” Emily exclaimed.  
  
***  
  
  
As their song finished Scud strutted his stuff like a prize winning rooster going in a small circle in his farmyard pen. He held the microphone and made eye contact with Lucy and some of the other lieutenants participating in the duets challenge. His look was haughty and dared any of them to come forward and lay down a challenge to the winning team. He stopped after a couple of circles and smiled widely at Miranda. “I’ve got to hand it to you, Style Queen.” He said, “You have more than labels and a hot bod going for you. You can sing too.”  
  
  
Miranda eyed him in thought. She wondered how she had ended up on this journey: kidnapped by an incompetently competent team, held somewhat hostage, invited to play games, and joked with like the smart sexy savvy woman that she was. It was beyond her why she did not want to chew him up and spit him out, and instead was thinking about what other songs they could sing and how much the twins would enjoy this. “I would worry about any other hidden talents I might have, Scud. I’m not called the Dragonlady for nothing.” She suddenly fixed him with one of her  Runway death glares and waited for his reaction. As Scud backed away warily Miranda winked at him and jutted her hip out suggestively. “Who’s next?” She called, as she looked around the room.  
  
  
Everyone looked to the floor, avoiding eye contact with her. Jesse, the youngest member of the team, quickly excused himself to the bathroom.  
  
  
The banter was suddenly interrupted by a loud whooping siren and Scud whipped around to study the monitors. “Breach!” He yelled turning to lock eyes with Lucy and he went to the monitors he threw down the microphone with a loud thud.  
  
  
Lucy’s loyal gang waited with baited breath as Scud tried to calculate which sensor went off, how much distance need to be covered, and how much time they had. Seconds was the last and most important answer and it came seconds too late.  
  
  
Emily burst through the door with her weapon drawn. “Freeze!” She commanded as she scanned the room. The team spilled through behind her guns drawn and ready.  
  
  
In the intense moment Emily hesitated, unable to process the surreal image of what must have been happening in that room as they approached. An image of Miranda and Scud with microphones in hand, singing ‘I’ve had the time of my life’ as a duet. Looking between Miranda, Scud, Lucy and the group of burly looking henchmen, she was suddenly unable to form words.  
  
  
Seeing the murderous look in Max’s eyes, Lucy took advantage of Emily’s state of shock and bolted for the door.  
  
  
Emily snapped back to reality as she watched Lucy race from the room and reassumed her post as the commander. “Max, Dom, Janet, secure the target and arrest these men.”  
  
  
Max approached the henchmen with a group of homeland security officers in tow. Dominique and her smaller crew went to Miranda moving her to the perimeter of the living area. Janet growled in frustration as she followed Emily who followed Lucy. She could not precisely say what was going on in her friend’s head, but she knew this wasn’t the way the mission should be going down.  
  
  
Following Lucy into the printing floor of ,i>The Mirror</i> Emily was taken off guard by the noise of the running machines. She pointed one direction for Janet and then signalled where she was going.  
  
  
Janet nodded and took off in the direction that Emily pointed. She looked up and down various corridors going around big drums of ink and endless bundles of aged newspapers.  
  
  
Emily ran on, after seeing a glimpse of raven hair ahead. Her heart hoped to see Lucy again, but dreaded it at the same time. As she ran up a new corridor, in between what appeared to be a massive bale of newsprint, she was suddenly knocked off her feet as her body slammed into something from the side. Recovering quickly from the hit, Emily jumped to her feet and drew her weapon.  
  
  
Once again, she found herself face to face with Lucy’s beseeching eyes and gun. Time slowed as she stared into Lucy’s eyes, pinned by the sparkle that she saw there and the lyrics that repeated in her head.  
  
  
_‘No I never felt like this before. Yes I swear it's the truth and I owe it all to you...  
  
We saw the writing on the wall, as we felt this magical fantasy...  
  
Now with passion in our eyes, there's no way we could disguise it secretly...  
  
With my body and soul, I want you more than you'll ever know...  
  
So, we'll just let it go. Don't be afraid to lose control’_  
  
  
The sound of her heart beating in her chest was deafening and suddenly Emily realised it was pounding to a different beat—everything had changed.  
  
  
She admired Miranda, even lusted after the perfectionist’s body as it was paraded in front of her every day and demanded attention. It was suddenly clear however that the parade was as far as it was ever going to get. The true promise of love and being true to herself did not lay behind the steel blue eyes of her boss, but instead it was in the warm embrace that Lucy’s dark eyes offered her. A chance to be who she truly was, a glimmer of life in love, and a promise of true love were all clear as day as Emily breathed in and realized that she had been waiting for Lucy all this time.  
  
  
“Come with me, what do you have to lose?” Lucy pleaded as she clicked the safety back on to her gun.  
  
  
“Everything!” Emily whispered, biting her bottom lip.  
  
  
“Think of what we could be together.” Lucy offered.  
  
  
Emily hesitated and Lucy crashed forward wrapping her gun arm around Emily’s neck and pulling her close to her with her other hand on her hip. Emily gasped at the sudden contact but kissed back on instinct as if she had always known she was made for kissing Lucy Diamond. Lost in the fiery embrace, neither woman heard the approaching footsteps.  
  
  
“I knew it!” Janet squealed as she arrived at the end of the corridor to find Emily and Lucy locked in a lover’s embrace.  
  
  
Lucy pulled Emily close to her and drew her weapon on Janet.  
  
  
“No!” Emily commanded as she pushed Lucy’s aim away from Janet.  
  
  
Janet breathed a heavy sigh of relief, but then all three women snapped to attention again as the heavy steps of the back-up could be heard descending upon their position. Holding hands Lucy and Emily stepped back and looked at Janet and then up the corridor from where the steps were approaching.  
  
  
Max and Dominique arrived with their guns drawn, ready for a fight and Emily stepped in front of Lucy to block them from hurting her. Miranda and Scud having followed the agents, stopped at a safe distance away from the possible gunplay.  
  
  
“Agent Charlton, are you stupid?” Max spoke in disbelief. “What are you doing? That is Lucy Diamond. Evil incarnate. Why are you protecting her?”  
  
  
“I’ve realised that this whole time I didn’t know who I was. I’ve been living a lie. You see the truth is; I feel more like me when I’m with her than I do when I’m with me. And the only brave thing I've done is what I'm doing now. So if you'll excuse me, I have a date with the devil.” Emily took Lucy’s hand stared into her eyes.  
  
  
“Emmiiiilllleee?”  
  
  
A shiver ran down Emily’s spine as she heard Miranda call her name.  
  
  
“It seems I didn’t know you at all.” Miranda pursed her lips at Emily as she approached the group.  
  
  
“Miranda, I...I...”  
  
  
“No.” Miranda stopped the young British woman’s attempt at an explanation. “It wasn’t an invitation to speak.”  
  
  
Emily cringed. Even after all this time, Miranda still had the ability to reduce her to a scared little girl.  
  
  
“You do of course realize that you are fired?” Emily’s heart fluttered in her chest. The job wasn’t everything, but being fired was like failing. Then she caught the glint in the older woman’s eyes and knew that everything was going to be ok.  
  
  
“Thank you, Miranda.” Emily smiled at Miranda.  
  
  
“And you, young lady.” Miranda turned to address Lucy. “If you break her heart, you will have me to answer to. Do you understand?”  
  
  
Lucy smiled. “Yes, Ma’am.”  
  
  
Miranda brushed passed them to leave. Her hips were swaying and heels clacking as she walked away. “Emily come...” She commented over her shoulder.  
  
  
Janet looked at Emily confused.  
  
  
“She means you...” Emily mouthed as she pointed at Janet.  
  
  
  
**Epilogue**  
  
  
Our heroines Lucy and Emily were able to escape incarceration and ride off into the sunset together to begin their perfect fairytale life together.  
  
  
The world of fashion heaved a reluctant sigh of relief as Miranda Priestly returned to her diamond encrusted throne, to continue her tyrannous reign.  
  
  
Loyal to the core, Janet decided to stay on at  Runway and protect Miranda. This meant taking the responsibility of first assistant, but she was promised by the agency that she would receive backup within days. Janet is now eagerly awaiting the arrival of the new second assistant, a rookie fresh out of the academy, Agent Andrea Sachs.  
  
  
Scud decided to take a new direction in life and join dear Uncle Nigel as he took the reigns on the latest member of the EC family, Men’s Runway. Scud always knew he had a creative flare.  
  
  
Thanks to Emily Charlton and Lucy Diamond, life in the international world of crime and within the walls of Elias Clark would never be the same again.  
  
  
  
*************  
  
N.b - Our song choices were already firmly in place before the sad loss of Patrick Swayze last week. However, I thought it was only fitting to give him a nod at the end.  
  
The Punkmeister and I have shared many tears of laughter over the linked video, we hope you do too.  
  
I might come back and link the video we'll see how I do with all this transferring business.  
  
.


End file.
